Leftovers
These are short blips that don't have a long story attached, but I still find interesting enough to remember. This is a mixed bag, some of them didn't get out of the hey you! stage, some resulted in an interview that didn't go well. They did teach me a lot about what to look for, and it's saved me some time and effort over the years.
Certain things tend to jog my memory about these events, as it does I will add more to this page.
I just can't even.
There used to be a number of places that did this, but two that stick out in my mind must have been pretty low rent operations. They would send an email, quite often to be honest, that had nothing but some variation of "I cannot download your resume, please send it to ..." One of those was running a business on a neo.rr.com address, the other on a consumer yahoo address. That apparently belied their intelligence level, because if you're using monster and can't figure out how to contact clients, you're doing it wrong. While I have not heard from any of them in a long while, the yahoo dude got his email hacked and I received spam letters from that address until I closed the account he had on file. The other appears to still be in business, but now has an actual address to go with their domain name.
Ohmahgawd!
A recruiter on the east coast that used to call repeatedly 20 years ago - and whose name sounds like "Oh my God!" - was well known for being a very scummy company. They were famous for just sending emails to any address you had, they would always start with "Our records indicate you're an experienced professional with ___________ which is relevant to my client." They'd always indicate that they'd called you and left a voicemail as well. No replies to any of these no matter if you indicated interest or told them to eff off. But seriously, if I was a professional in all the things they indicated, I'd be the smartest man in the world. This company no longer appears to be in business, or they've changed focus.
I have the contract!
A company I worked for had two divisions that were not related. If you worked for side A, you didn't work with side B. End of story. There were a couple of jobs posted on this company's website that were there for the entire duration of my tenure. The IT guys kind of said that the website was in limbo because the people who knew how to fix it weren't there anymore, and it wasn't a priority to fix - the company was one of those "if you need it, you already know us" places. A recuiter called me about one of these jobs, talking up both sides of the company as if you'd be working on both. When I said that wasn't the case, he got angry with me as only Indians can, and stated that I didn't know what I was talking about because he had a contract with this company to fill these positions. I told him that "no you don't, I work there, those jobs don't exist because no one can figure out how to get them off the website, and the company doesn't work like you said it does." There was a moment of silence where I assume he was looking at my resume for the first time (keyword match) before he told me that he wasn't calling me again because his client wouldn't hire me anyway. Sure thing there, dude. You're not the first Indian that told me that, and you won't be the last.
That's not what I said.
A defense contractor in Missouri contacted me about an RF technician in the early 2000s. We got off to a very very rocky start because of recruiter and other hanky-panky, including the company contact cancelling a phone screen at the last minute and my hesitancy to actually go through with it. I finally called the contact direct and asked for a time if they were still interested, because the pay for this job was superbly fine. They were, and we set the time. As I took the call, we introduced ourselves - and the first thing after introductions was one of the interviewers laughing to himself and telling me "We don't have those (sports team name) down here! HA HA HA HA!" Well...ok. The interview was nothing special, and I spoke with the recruiter shortly after. She said they wanted to interview me on this date, go ahead and get a flight and they will reimburse you. First time I'd ever done that, and I was naively following along. Fortunately, a nearby friend wanted me to visit, so didn't need a hotel. Get the flight, and don't hear anything from the recruiter. Call her, "Why did you do that, they don't want to interview." Because you said they did? "No, I never told you that. They're not interested in you." Ok lady, you and this company are now on my shit list. Couldn't cancel the flight without penalties, already had time scheduled, so I went and saw my friend, good times. I don't know how I got on this later, but I called the HR person at the company as she was one of the people I'd spoken with during the interview. I didn't expect anything but - I got a lot. I was told I was being difficult throughout the whole thing. Well, so were you and your recruiter. Your recruiter lied to me about an interview. "Well, she never told you that." Uh huh. The person was really chatty for some reason. One of the things I said during this wrap up was the recruiter also told me the pay was $X - was that even real? The HR contact said that no, she didn't even think the outgoing person who had been there for years made that much, the pay offered had been closer to $X-20000. So your recruiter even lied to me about that. "Well...she never" Bullshit. Don't call me again. They didn't, and the company was acqui-hired by another defense contractor soon after.
Gotcha.
In the early-mid 2000s a private spaceflight company called me about a technician job in Seattle. (No, not that company.) I spoke with the contact via email and phone and was told a little about the job and what they wanted, and the pay rate. After a few days, they said they'd like me to come out there for an on-site interview, to which I agreed. My contact passed me to someone else who would help schedule things. This was Wednesday, mid morning, so I assumed next week sometime. I spoke with the scheduling person, they wanted me out there tomorrow until Sunday, at which point I would fly home. Ok, short notice but whatever. She then told me to go ahead and get a flight (not happening that quickly!) a rental car and a hotel, and they would reimburse me. No...I don't know anything about the area, what you're willing to spend, how long it takes to get reimbursed - none of those answers were forthcoming. I'd already been burnt one time by a company that wanted me to fly out to them on my dime but cancelled at the last minute with a "we never said to do that!" so I wasn't willing to do it again. At the same time, I was living credit-card reduced and only had a single card with a low max balance, I wouldn't have been able to cover even the flight let alone everything else. Emailed my original contact back and explained this, received one word in reply: "Gotcha." That's it. No "Ok, well let's see what we can do" or even a "Sorry, that's how it works here." Just "Gotcha." Probably for the best, I later spoke with a friend of a friend who lived in Seattle at that time and was told that the pay rate being offered was insanely low, and that you won't live there on it. "Gotcha."
Why bother?
A county in North-Central Ohio sent out a blast to the masses email touting all the job opportunities in their county. What job opportunities? Who knows, there wasn't any links to job boards, postings, companies - nothing. Email to the sender was never replied to, even with an automated "we've received your message." The only link in the email contact was a youtube video with a lot of shots of their county fair and some other "around town" shots that I assume were supposed to entice you to move to the middle of nowhere. That one went in the trash - if you can't be bothered to actually send any relevant information, why waste the time?
How long would that take?
An on-shore recruiter called me about a high-level RF engineering position. While I've done RF work, it's not really my thing and the higher mathematics required for engineering of such never really clicked with me. I told the recruiter such - emphasizing that my RF skills were already 20+ years out of date - and that I didn't even have the degree the company wanted. His reply was to ask me how long it would take to get up to speed on that, do you think a couple of weeks or so? No, I think 4 more years of school and a couple of years as a junior, maybe. He didn't quite know how to take that, especially after I said this isn't something you just walk in the door and do with some OJT. Never heard from this guy again.
Why won't you take it?
A company that makes building products for home and commercial called about an electronics tech position at their headquarters. Sounds interesting, so I take the prelim skills test and ask about salary during the email conversation regarding the job. HR person tells me it's "confidential." (I'd tell you to f-off with that kind of answer now.) I knew enough not to even consider without an answer, so I said "I make $X + at least $Y profit share a year - would this job be worth pursuing?" Person says yes in a roundabout way so I start the process. (I left out the substantial medical HSA amount we were given each year since it wasn't a pay item, should have included it as well. Should have dropped the whole process right there.) Interview was with several people, and included some lab time. It was more of an engineernig tech, a couple steps above my current level. I considered my options after the interview, thinking that they knew my positions and were going to offer something attactive. A week later, the called and offered me the job at me less than I currently made. I turned it down. The HR person got on a call with me a couple days later with a group of people at the location and asked me what she could do to make me interested in this job. "It's the money, literally. I can't move for less than I make now." That didn't go anywhere, of course, and I declined to continue because I would have used up any negotiation room just getting to where I was at the time. I did run across the HR person some years later, but they declined to even acknowledge me.
No kidding?
An Indian caller was trying to get submissions for a division of a large defense contractor up near Lake Erie, around late 2020. The pay for the job was abysmal for a skilled electronics tech with clearance - $16 an hour. He wasn't the first caller, that one argued with me that since I was in the same state it should be an easy fit, right? I don't think he understood distances. However, this later caller argued with me for a minute about this job, then started breaking down and crying. He had to get 20+ submissions for this position today and no one would give him a resume. No kidding dude. I told him that the pay sucked really badly for the job, the area didn't allow you to live on that wage, and no one is going to move for a position that didn't pay what a warehouse did. He blubbered on for a minute before thanking me and hanging up. He wasn't the last caller, I received these well into 2021.
Cybersecurity say what?
A large defense contractor whose name is the first three letters of people who founded it emailed one day about positions in the south. A lot of cybersecurity and other security related material. While this in itself isn't unusual, the email was. CC: had 1400+ emails, many of them .mil and .gov ... I replied thanking the person for sending my email address to who knows where, and to not contact me again because anyone hiring for cybersecurity and making day 1 mistakes was someone I didn't want to work for. I did receive another call from a different person a few years later, I mentioned they were on my shit list for the reason above. I don't know if the dude was messing with me or not, but he got really quiet for a minute and then said "We're really sorry about that, the problem has been taken care of." Still not interested, and he understood and thanked me.
Sometimes things change.
A recruiter contacted me about a company looking for a local field tech. The company was a Japanese-owned business that did wiring services for similar companies. The pay was just eh but it was the same time I needed out of a bad job so I took the interview. I have to stress that the recruiter said that this company starts techs out at $X. They may offer more, but no less than $X. Ok, that's fine, that's my floor. I received no information on who I would be interviewing with, or what to expect. That probably would have been helpful to some regard, as I interviewed with the Japanese owner and social conventions are a little different. Regardless, the interview was a simple technical competency test, and some talking about what I'd done in the past. I left with neither a good nor bad feeling. A week later, the recruiter calls me. They'd like to offer you the job, it pays $Y, which was about $4000 less than the original "They pay this, no less" number. Ok, you said they pay more. What happened to that, I told you that I wouldn't be interested in less. The recruiter says "well, sometimes things change." They sure do, I'm no longer interested. The recruiter was...unhappy. I didn't give him a chance to start ranting, I said my goodbyes and never heard from him again.
I'm just an accountant!
A recruiter calls me about a position with a connector manufacturer. I read the job description and can immediately tell they want a technical manager, not a technician. I tell the recruiter this, he assures me that this is not the case and they do want a technician. Ok dude, it's your funeral. I take the interview and speak with the hiring manager, and it's obvious he didn't even bother looking at my resume. We talk about a few technical things and then he starts asking me questions about how many people I've managed, what kind of shop, compentencies of people...you know, things you'd need for a techncial manager position. I stopped him and said "I'm a tech. You're looking for a manager, right?" The contact kind of goes silent and says yes, that is the case. The interview pretty much ended at that point. I call the recruiter back immediately afterwards and say I just got off the phone with the hiring authority. He's bright and asks how it went. I say "As I said, they want a technical manager, not a technician. It was over in 5 minutes." The recruiter got kind of snippy and says "Well, my degree is in accounting!" and that he didn't really understand the ins and outs of tech. Maybe next time when someone tells you this isn't what you think, listen to them? Especially if you don't have any experience in the area?
About your application...
The local office of a national recruiter called me one day to speak to me about my application for a forklift driver I had recently made to their company. I asked them who they were, what application, and where did you get it. Without missing a beat, the person told me that they had received my application via monster. I indicated that I had not applied, would not be interested in applying, and had never driven forklift in my life. The "Oh, ok, well if you change your mind..." reply I got back made me wonder if they were just going down through names they'd pulled from a job board and calling them, as if they were replying to an application. I suppose it could have been a data breach on monster's part, but it's been long enough that should have come out.
Pluggin' your zipcode in!
One of my first encounters with a truth-stretcher in the recruiter world was with a company that started in the late 90s and chose an oh-so-trendy cyber name for their business. While they still exist (and use the same logo!) the name is so pre-dotbomb it hurts. Regardless, this guy called me about a homegrown conglomerate in a nearby city, about an hour's drive away. I wasn't really thrilled, but the guy insisted that it was only a 20 minute drive because "he plugged my zipcode in to mapquest and that's what it said!" Where he got that zipcode, and what it was, I'll never know. I said I'd interview if it was a good position, go ahead and submit. Of course, I had to call him a month later. He acted surprised at my call, and I heard papers shuffling. He wasn't sure why they didn't reply, he always got a reply in the past about candidates. I realized right there that he actually didn't have a contract with the company. It's probably for the best anyway, the company decided to pick up and leave their hometown behind for an office in the south and manufacturing plants in China.
No experience required, except...
A nameless Indian recruiter called me about an electronic test equipment calibration company in SW Ohio. They were looking for someone to join their calibration shop, no experience required. The recruiter told me this by voice, the job description read "This is an entry level position, no experience is required. We are looking for someone wanting to enter the calibration field." That's all well and good, but the pay was far too high for this kind of work, and the description itself mentioned "X years experience required" later in the text. Something isn't right here. However, I said submit, and took the phone screen. We talked briefly about my work in the calibration field, and they asked if I had any questions before we did the technical portion. Just wanted to make sure that they were actually looking for an entry level person with no experience? No real answer, but the first questions was how much experience do you have with this very specific piece of test equipment. Never heard of it. Oh, we're only looking for people with that experience. I didn't get to go farther, because they railroaded the interview to it's end and that was that. Talked to the recruiter later, they said "The company isn't interested because you don't have the experience they needed." You said there was none required. Just got the previous statement repeated. Yeah, don't call me again. Looked up the calibration company later, nothing bad - just people talking about how the owner doesn't associate with the business and you're otherwise thrown to the wolves. Happy it didn't go farther.
Were you going to bother telling me?
A recruiter in SW Ohio wanted me to apply for a company in West-Central Ohio. I wasn't really thrilled about this move, but the pay was good and I kind of ehhhh'd about it for a while before saying "Ok, let's do this." I have to mention that I'd been kind of non-responsive up to this point, so I can see why the company would be apathetic to me, but... The hiring company scheduled a call with me, and I accepted. I have to stress this was their doing, their scheduling - not mine. I made sure to be available for the call with my documents and...nothing. Waited about a half-hour and called it quits. Called the recruiter, he says the company was worried that you weren't going to be really interested, so they decided not to interview. How nice, they were the ones that set this up, and neither you nor they bothered to let me know? You're both on my shit list now. (Ghosting is pretty common these days, it's just par for the course.)
Schrödinger's Interview.
A local company that was both a contract manufacturer and an electronics packaging specialist was hiring for a technician. It wasn't anything special, but I needed out of a bad job so I took the interview. As I sat in their reception area, I listened to the person on phone duty. "No, Miss Suchandsuch is not here today, may I send you to voicemail?" Now wait - I'm supposed to interview with this person who isn't here today. Not "in a meeting," "with clients," or anything. "Not here today." Had my interview, turns out she was there that day and I knew what was going to happen. When I called a few weeks later to see what was going on, Miss Suchandsuch "wasn't there that day." No, I don't want voicemail ma'am, I sat there and listened to you say that when I had an interview with this person, thank you for your time. This was probably or the best, further experiences with this company didn't get any better, and other contacts state they had similar - or worse - experiences here.
Well no, but actually yes.
A recruiter that specializes in federal services contacts me about a position. I immediately knew where and what it was due to the location, abysmal shift, and verbiage that was in the job description - but it did not specifically say the company name. I wasn't interested because I'm not going to ever do a 12 hour weekend shift, and I told the recruiter this. (I'm also not interested in the company itself for various reasons.) He replies about how things are under pressure right now but the job will level out eventually. No, that's not how this company works, and it's why they chew through people and are always hiring. Since he didn't take my "No" for an answer, I asked directly if this was the company in question. His answer was "No, it's not. You'll be working for our company." Ok, dude, that's not what I meant and you damn well know it, but if you're going to play that game I can just put you on my shit list. I re-iterated my refusal of the unworkable shift, and ended with how I've applied at this company many times over the years, never heard anything, and didn't feel like picking up and moving for them at this point. No real reply, but none was expected. Maybe read my profile next time where it says not interested in that company?
